so many balls…
As women we have often heard it said that we can manage many things at once… multitasking is our strength, right? But should we? Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean that you should. Juggling too many things at once can impact your health, particularly when we hold so many balls in the air for others and we find that we have no space in our lives for the things we value the most. We feel pressure to be everything to everyone but the reality is that it’s not sustainable.
Below are three strategies I’ve implemented with clients that really work to give them more focus, clarity and balance in their lives.
The Reality list…
Almost everyone writes lists. We often never get to the end of our lists as we try and stuff more and more into every day. If you’re like I used to be, at the end of each day I wrote a list for the next day, carrying over anything I didn’t get done that day. Just looking at it was exhausting! What about if you didn’t even aim to get it all done? What if you did tried this…
a. Write down everything you want to get done in your short-term future (excluding rituals such as work, making breakfast, doing your teeth). We’ll call this the Wish List.
b. Write a new list with the top 3 things you feel are the most urgent. This is your Reality List.
c. Draw a line under the most urgent thing you need to do. This is your Top Priority. You need to complete this in order to then move onto the next two.
Go through your day, keeping your focus on the Top Priority. When that is done turn your attention to the other two. The rest stays on the Wish List for another day and you don’t look at it.
By working this way, when you completed those three tasks you will have done the most important tasks instead of muddling around doing unimportant things and then have to do the big things when you are tired and exhausted. You will also gain a feeling of achievement. You have completed the most important things on your list for that day! Yay!!!
Care for Self
Self-care is a word that is bandied around by many in the health and wellness industry. It usually is used in reference to day spas, long baths and indulgent weekends away. I want you to look at it in another way… turn it around… what does it mean to care for self? What does it look like to you?Doing the things that fill us up often come at the bottom of the priority list because we have to fit in all the things we ‘need’ to get done. But what is it that you absolutely need to care for yourself?
It’s valuable to take a moment to look at your life and without judgement write down the things that you really need. We often get to a point where we can feel exhausted for no reason, disengaged and like we’re stuck in perpetual Groundhog Day! For some women they struggle to do this as they see they are time poor already and have no energy for anything else. What I’ve found in my work however, is that by doing something that helps them care for themselves , they feel more positive, have more productive use of their time and their energy level can be boosted.
So what’s one thing that you’ve stopped doing that used to help you care for yourself or fill you up? What’s something small you you integrate into your life? Can you get up 15 minutes early and have an early walk around the block? Can you take your cup of tea outside instead of drinking it at the bench? Can you sit in the car for 5 minutes and breathe deeply before starting the car to head home? It’s the small things that can make a huge difference to how you care for yourself, and ultimately those you love.
Purpose, Joy and Peace
A little while ago, after working with many clients, I distilled what a successful day looks like for most women. It has 3 elements to it…
a. Have I done something with purpose - something fulfilling and worthwhile? Have I made a difference to my work, my family or my community?
b. Have I done or experienced something that brings me joy? It doesn’t have to be anything big. It could be that first smell of coffee in the morning, the smile on my child’s face when I picked them up from school or the laugh I had at my friend’s funny gif on a text message.
c. Have I done something that brings me peace? Could it be that I gave my partner a hug, patted the dog or read a few pages of a book?
By actively searching for these three things at the end of each day and cataloguing them, we can feel a sense of contentment and wellbeing. Over time, we get used to noticing these things as we move through our every day. We become more aware of the blessings in our life and change our perspective to look for theses moments, rather than focusing on our endless mental to-do list.
I urge you to try these 3 things… yes, we may have a lot of balls in the air, but it doesn’t mean we need to have them all in the air at once! We can choose to keep 3 in play each day, add a little something that will help us care for ourselves and notice the things that make life worth living. Who wants to spend their life pummelled by balls dropping on us until we can no longer care for ourselves and those we value?
Have a beautiful day, Kate.